Inner conversation

Whenever I bent over tonight, salt water drips out from my nose, which keeps reminding me the few hours of gusty windsurfing on the river and the conversation along. Right after launch, I knew I've too big a sail for these kind of wind. But, my pride told myself "Let's go for a round, then come back for the change." In the middle of the river, wind picked up another few knots (force is proportion to square of it's velocity), which turn the whole situation to survival mode. So, the conversations went on:
- Let's keep going till you get to the other side!
- I should never come out with this sail in the first place!?! Now you want me to go further.
- The last thing you want is get stuck in the middle of the channel.
- If I can get back this time, I will not come out again today.
- It sound very much like some gamblers or lovers; If I can win this one, or if I can see him one more time....
- Yes, but I thought I can handle this.....See!!!! wind clam down a bit. Let's go back.
- O yes. Now you can manage it. Then you don't need to go back. Otherwise, what's the point of being a sailor? "Go big or go home" girl!!!
- Right, maybe I should try another round.......
- That's how you get better and better.
- Ahhhh, it pick up again!! I should've known better. Ooooo, my hands hurts....
- Stop complaining, just focus and get through the waves.

it goes on and on......... I guess it will never stop.